Civilisation (PC)

There are a few topics of conversation that can be guaranteed whenever, and wherever, gamers gather – arguments about whether the Xbox is better than the Gamecube (or whether the Spectrum is better than the C64 – depending on the age of the gamers), random acts of fanboyism, “why don’t girls like playing games” and The Zone.

The Zone. It deserves the capital letters. Never quite tangible, never visible and rarely conciously attained – we feel it when we’re dancing with the Robotrons, we taste it in the sweat that forms on our upper lip while dodging Pulsars and, yes, we know it when we’re building trade routes in Civilisation.

“Today’s lesson – Graciously Receiving Fellatio. I mean, History”.

Civilisation may not be the most obvious of Zone games. The general perception is that it’s a boring turn-based strategy game, enjoyed only by frustrated history professors and your dad. But it’s not. At it’s best the Civilisation series encapsulates The Zone better than anything else. Yes, even Defender.

Like all great Zone games, Civilisation starts everso gently… You have one or two units and one very simple choice to make – build or move. You ease yourself into the game, a city here, a new unit there, a couple of border skirmishes to the north. Nothing too complicated…

Berlin here, then build a settler, head west and discover Frankfurt. Next
stop, Divorceville…

And then you find yourself managing fifty cities, hundreds of units, wars with three neighbours, uneasy peace with two more, and your scientists are in the middle of a race to discover the cure for cancer. You look up, bleary-eyed and weak from hunger and exhaustion. Eight hours have passed, the dog has shat on the carpet, your coffee is growing new life forms beside you, your bladder is twisted in agony and your wife is having loud and energetic sex with the local boy-scout troop in the garden and the only thing on your mind is: “One more turn”…

If that isn’t the Zone, I don’t know what is.

AHCHAY, March 2004.

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