Sickboy's
Wasted Youth - 4. We Could Be Heroes.
My name is Andrew Lowe and I have breakdanced
in public. It has been twenty years since my last breakdance.
There was me, and four mates, and we were all into import electro
and hip-hop. One of my mates was black, one was Pakistani, the
other was half-Hungarian. I’d like to complete this Dee-Liteful,
multi-ethnic little picture by claiming to be Chinese, but it
isn’t true.
We pestered our parents into buying us matching,
red, hooded tops. For some reason, we begged them to stitch the
phrase ‘Zodiac Crew’ onto the backs. We threatened
to hold our breaths until my dad cleared a bit of space in the
garage - just enough to accommodate a big strip of unevenly cut
lino and a gigantic ‘ghetto blaster’.
We tried to decorate the ghetto blaster with
spray-painted ‘tags’, but we weren’t very good
at art and it looked like a gang of PCP-addled chimps had had
a gunfight with paint-filled water pistols.
Anyway, we span. We span on our backs, hands,
backsides, backs and sides. My Pakistani mate once tried to spin
on his head, but he did his neck in – as did I, on my one
and only attempt. My half-Hungarian mate could do a ‘Windmill’
– a wonderfully flowing, continuous back-spin propelled
by circular-swinging, outstretched legs. I could never manage
it, but I did have the Crab-Walk down pretty sweetly.
It was performance. A bit of a show-off thing
– fun to do, even more fun with someone watching. It tied
in perfectly with our love of the music, our misty-eyed glamourisation
of inner-city New York (as seen from inner-city England), and,
best of all, it packed a bit of outsider spice.
While most of our peers were enjoying parentally
approved activities like sport, sponsored walks and after-school
music tuition, we were holed up in a garage, listening to threatening
music and racking up a collection of minor injuries. One fine
bank holiday, we persuaded my dad to come out to the garage and
watch. He stood around politely for a few minutes, and then walked
away, shaking his head.
At school, we sat through ‘Computer Studies’
– rambled at by a gentle old Welsh bloke who made us sit
in the computer room, by the keyboards, by the switched-on monitors…
and copy out flowcharts with a stencil.
There was also a horrible thing called ‘Music
& Movement’ – an extension of Drama, where the
teacher played syrupy music while the pupils swanned around the
assembly hall, listing and leaping and, whenever possible, pushing
mates into girls.
But outside Silver Coin on weekends and holidays,
we reworked our own version of Music & Movement – drawing
little crowds of grudging hecklers with our breakdancing. We even
met some girls. Not many, just some.
Inside, we ditched the stencils and indulged
in the best (the only) way to study computers – by playing
games. It was all a glorious, esteem-building, reflex-tuning,
athletic, social, peer-approved mix. But, never in a million open
evenings could I have convinced my parents that I was doing anything
other than training for a life of crime.
The gaming added a healthy competitive edge
and it often felt like more of a performance than the breakdancing.
When Silver Coin installed a chunky old thing called Dragon’s
Lair, I spent a long time watching the technician ‘test’
his way through random scenes. I spotted the mirror-image trickery,
got advice from some kid who had the Lizard King section sussed.
I watched and learned and caned and caned the up-down-left-right-sword
business until my brain patterns were little more than one long
Dragon’s Lair walkthrough.
Each time I played, a crowd formed. A couple
of people would optimistically slap a 10p piece on the joystick
panel. Some even tried to psych me out by inserting a coin while
I was still playing – a pre-prepared credit just willing
me to mess up.
One day, I didn’t mess up. I kept going
and going and the crowd got bigger and bigger, and then, up popped
a scene I hadn’t seen before - the Dragon’s Lair itself.
I’d reached it with two lives and on the second attempt,
I did it. I slayed the dragon. In the gameworld, Dirk had conquered
evil and got the girl. Back in the arcade, the crowd/audience
let out a cautious little cheer. A bit of back-slapping, a “Nice
one!” or two, and then… game over. The little shit
with the stored credit stepped up and the moment was gone.
So, the breakdancing was fun, and I scored a
goal or two for the fourth-year football team, and I was a demon
table-tennis player, and I was in a gigging band at university,
and I once handed in a wallet to the police station and picked
up a small reward. But I’ve only ever felt the spine-tingle
of heroism in front of a video-game screen.
18th May, 2003
You
can add your thoughts on this story in the forum



|