Wipe On. Wipe Off. Eat Mushrooms.
By Swith

Enjoying the occasional ciggie, as I do, games where you only have to use one hand are a highly sought after property. I’ve got my personal approved stable for those moments that require one-handed gaming; Grid Runner ++, Pendulumania, and Lemmings. Rag Doll Kung Fu has now earned its place in that hallowed list, but it had to fight damn hard to get there.

RDKF had a head start in that it was cheap, and I’m really tight. The blurb was damn enticing too, promising that I’d be controlling each individual limb of my marionette-like fighter, using chi-power, floating through the air like a Russian ballerina, whooping ass and tripping out by eating mushrooms. All of that for just £7? Sign me up.

The central story mode character, meditating and medicating.

Lo and behold, it’s exactly £7’s worth of game, and I’m a very satisfied customer. It’s just getting to grips with the beast that took the effort. After the initial introduction to using the mouse controls, you soon resign to the fact that any sense of control you have in Rag Doll Kung Fu is purely coincidental. Not that that matters, because it’s clear the rough and ready Rag Doll Kung Fu is about chaos, and embracing it to find precision.

Firstly, lob your mouse mat on top of your monitor; you’ll need all the space you can get if you’re playing this properly. The best way to enjoy Rag Doll is to just get stuck in with the twat-fest. I’ve taken to using half my desk when I’m having a session. To attack an enemy, you have to charge up your chi power by making little circles with the mouse, then grab a limb and move it towards an oncoming bad guy, such as a ‘dirty troll’ or a ‘smoke ninja’. It's this constant whirling and shunting of the mouse which makes moving of nearby tea mugs a necessity. You can plug in more mice for multiplayer bouts, but my desk just wasn’t big enough, and I didn't want any of my candles knocked, know what I mean?

Testament does have to be paid to the graphics of Rag Doll Kung Fu. They are bloody gorgeous. The depth of field effects and the awesome time-dilatory mushroom tripping sections help to establish what must be some of the most surreal and dreamlike worlds I’ve ever seen expressed in a game.

My hands look funny

After repeated play, I’ve found that you can eventually command as much control over your fighter as your imagination will let you. Once you’ve overcome the mental boundaries of worrying about not being in control, you suddenly realise it’s about calm well timed gestures, not churning and flicking of the mouse. You have to peer through the chaos to be able to see and prioritise the immediacy of your blows.

Nothing like Rag Doll Kung Fu.

Rag Doll Kung Fu is rather self deprecating in that respect, it wants the casual observer to see it as a fun, post pub mong-out game. It shrugs, lights up a spliff and shows you a grainy cut scene which looks like it was filmed on common land with the programmer and his mates. It’s homebrew incarnate. Rag Doll Kung Fu is independent developer doing something extremely innovative, artistic and personal, not to mention a fucking blast.

It is seven quid’s worth of game though. You’ll only ever play it in 30 minute blasts, but that is exactly why it’s a perfect package. There are a few times when it gets just a little too frustrating, you’ll spend days playing like a spoon until it clicks, but then a whole world of effortless face twattery and trippy slow-mo butterfly catching awaits.

And you can play it with one hand! Excellent!

November 2005

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