Mr Mizuguchi gives good puzzle.
By Ahchay

There are some phrases which, through a combination of misuse, overfamiliarity and random chance, have lost all meaning. A ‘quantum leap’ is now a massive surge forward in any given field. You can become a ‘genius’ just by being on TV four times a week. It is a virtually proven fact that everyone who drives a Ford Escort is a ‘chav’. And reviewers, when stuck for a convenient way of saying how great something is, will invariably label it as a ‘masterpiece’.

Non-genius parents. Easy pickings.

It’s become little more than convenient shorthand – the sort of thing that gets put on little stickers on CD cases and film posters – “Scorsese’s latest masterpiece!” they proclaim as if that tells you anything at all about whether The Aviator is any good or not. “The Stereophonics return with a new masterpiece to rival Performance and Cocktails!” – the exclamation mark is essential in showing exactly how over-excited the reviewer is getting. “Disney’s latest masterpiece shows a real return to form” – as opposed to their last masterpiece which was a bit shit then?

You only get one masterpiece (in Kelly Jones’ case, not even that) – that’s the point. A masterpiece is the piece of work that identifies an artist, or a craftsman, as being a master within their field. From that point on, everything you do – by definition – is the work of a master. At best, proclaiming each new work as a masterpiece is redundant.

Move that coloured… thing over and spin it round
and make some kind of pattern. Possibly.

Tetsuya Mizuguchi is, undoubtably, a master of his art. Whether you count his masterpiece as Rez or Space Channel 5 is irrelevant – his mastery is assured.

And Meteos?

Meteos is Mizuguchi flexing his creative muscles and showing us exactly how far ahead of the competition he and his team really are.

First impressions are somewhat baffling. Your first few days with the game will have you scratching your head in bemusement rather than shaking your booty with joy. You’ll click on things randomly. It will remind you, variously, of Tetris, Columns and Gunpey and you will try and plan your combos much as you would with those. You may even, at this point, be tempted to give it up as a poor cousin to the much more Mizuguchi-esque Lumines.

That would be a mistake.

Ah. Got it. Shoot the planets by playing Tetris at them.
Of course. Oh, and draw little purple orchid things.

Because then you notice the speed-up button. Initially you’ll use this in short bursts – just to fill the screen with a few Meteos before you revert to the studied, measured, playing style of your typical puzzler. Then the bursts will get longer as you start to zone in on the colours, as you start to feel the combos rather than having to think about them. You’ll discover the time attack modes - 100 Meteos mode is eight seconds of sheer intensity to rival anything you have ever played before, until you play 1000 Meteos mode – 80 seconds of sweat-inducing gaming nirvana. You’ll start to play the normal modes in the same style and the game just springs to life.

You see, what this game does so well is simple. It forces you to play on its own terms. Treat is as yet another puzzle game and it will destroy you utterly within three minutes. Play it at the breakneck speed that it truly demands and you’ll never look back.

Not a masterpiece, then.

Just very, very, good.

April 2005

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