Stretch Armstrong.
By PaulEMoz

Poor old Hulk. He’s had a hard time of it lately. There was the above-average blockbuster movie, which made the unfortunate mistake of being story driven, when all general audiences wanted was to see “Hulk Smash”. Plus they made him look like a dog’s giant squeaky chew toy, which was, in hindsight, regrettable. Then there was the game that came out at the same time as the movie. That was… well, ordinary. Still, Vivendi have decided to have another crack at it, and it’s a good thing that they did.

Grrrr! Hulk Squeak!

Generally, the biggest problem with superhero games is that you never really feel like that superhero. You never quite feel as though you can use the full range of their extraordinary powers. That’s not an issue with Ultimate Destruction. As Hulk, you can jump huge distances, climb buildings, run along canyon walls and most importantly, you can smash almost everything. You actually feel as though you’re controlling this superhuman raging beast. That’s quite a gaming thrill.

Hulk’s Bruce Forsyth impression caused everything around him to literally explode with joy.

The game follows a story mode, as I suppose it has to. But along the way you will find little side missions that you complete for valuable bonus Smash Points. Most of these missions are pretty trivial, and somewhat demeaning of the Hulk’s mighty strength, rage and power. And yet, putting as many vehicles as possible on top of a tall building in a set time limit is bizarrely amusing, and no doubt the sort of thing Hulk would do for a laugh. If he had a sense of humour, that is.

Smash Points are used to buy extra moves and powers, and serve to keep the game interesting where it might have grown dull. Eventually you’ll end up with a massive repertoire of destructive abilities, all of which are enjoyable to use, and have impressively damaging results.

Yeeeeee-hawwww! Say Bo, Daisy – who’s the big green fella?

Here are some elements of the game that will ensure you get your money’s worth.

• Smashing an oil well, picking up the giant arm and using it as a bat on some poor sap of a soldier is supremely satisfying. And the “DING!” sound effect, coupled with the 500 feet or so that the hit soldier flies, has a comedy value as high as anything you could mention. And it never, ever gets old.

• Downing helicopters by punching their own missiles back at them is enough to give any gamer a happy glow.

• Tearing a car in half and smashing it together to give yourself a reinforced pair of Hulk Hands takes some beating.

• Using a lamp post as a javelin to take out far-off tanks, choppers or even people beats almost any other use of ranged weaponry.

And there are countless other such gleeful occasions, too.

Grrrrrr! Hulk smash! Oh… hang on…

The game is called Ultimate Destruction, and with good reason. Despite the storyline, this is a game about smashing everything to pieces. As such, it’s pretty shallow and short-lived, even with the Free Roam mode, as there aren’t a lot of places to wreck. But if you just want pure entertainment out of a videogame, and like to see things reduced to rubble or scrap parts, then you really can’t go wrong here.

October 2005

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