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Indie pick of the month Time hasn't been on my side for nigh on five years now. Five years ago, I had all the time in the world to immerse myself in games - well, all the time I wasn't off out to the pub anyway.Now, my days are taken up looking after a little nutter with a fascination for handbags and a single mitten, taking care of the wife and in my spare time, I try and keep on top of any website maintenance I need to do and try and squeeze in some hobbyist game making or pixelling when the chance arises. So, I've been playing games a whole lot less than I used to. And the problem is, my love of games hasn't lessened in any way whatsoever, I still need to play or I'd feel like something was missing from my life. But where do I find the time? I can grab a few hours on the consoles in between the good lady wife's television schedule once baby has gone to bed - but my, the chair is so comfy after a day running around and keeping my eyes open long enough can be a chore, or I can indulge in a few hours of PC gaming (the DS doesn't count as my wife stole it from me after half an hour of bringing it home and it appears to have Zookeeper superglued inside it). But games today, they're demanding more and more time invested in them and so, a 7 hour game for most people is a three week game for me. At the very least, I get value for money from any purchases I make. So, I need a game that I can play on and off and not feel pressured into throwing away a few hours a night on in order to progress... but most of all, its got to be fun. After a day covered in yoghurt, baby food and milk and being beaten with cuddly toys - I really need some fun above everything else.
And that’s where Naked War has snuggled itself nicely into my life. At its heart, its a turn based strategy game with the turns played out by the players and mailed to each other, so it can be played at your own pace and in your own time. It takes anything from two to ten minutes to play a round, mail it off - then you can wander off elsewhere for a while whilst the other player takes his turn and respond when you have the time. No pressure, no time sucker (in principle, it didn't stop me wasting the entire first weekend of its release in an epic battle of wits) and best of all, its fun. There's no reams of stats to wade through, no complex manoeuvres to be made, Naked War is raw and unbridled simplicity. You begin with a few men, give them a name - I'm currently alternating between Inky, Pinky, Blinky & Clyde and the members of Spinal Tap depending if its a 4 or 3 member team, choose your opponent and choose your battle ground. Mail off the challenge, a small game of Paper, Scissor, Stone to decide who goes first and you're off on your quest to capture the opponent’s doofers. Doofers? Yes, the game is really that gloriously silly. If your enemy soldier takes enough of a pounding you "demob" him (or in English, leave him in the nuddy) and steal a little floating star from around his head. Capture all the opponents doofers and in what I can only presume is a homage to the greatest Spectrum game ending ever, "you are success".
To help you along the way you have a couple of vehicles you can commandeer, a tank, a helicopter, a boat or a ruddy big gun turret. There are rubber duckies that drain the water from the map when hit, and a selection of well designed maps to fight upon. One of the neatest touches in the game is the ability to add comments to each of the soldiers moves allowing you to imbue each of your little men/women with a personality of their own. I favour the "ninja speak" approach after completing a hefty jump over a building ("Ninjas flip out over tall buildings!"), "pirate speak" for commandeering a boat ("Yarrr! Ye Boat is mine, me hearties!"), or taunting the opposition after a round went especially well ("Your mother was a hamster" etc...) - it makes the whole package a little more personal. To add the icing on the cake, everything in game is imbued with neat touches from when you enter a building and it all goes James Bond super-villain style or the way your naked soldiers cover their private bits when you focus on them. There's a level of detail that most game developers wouldn't be bothered adding and Naked War shines because of them. Given that your first game is free and the subscriptions are a ridiculously low price, it'd be really rude to let Naked War pass you by. Honestly, its a marvel and has this Rodents attention for quite the foreseeable future. So go on, join me and revel in the nudity and let us hide amongst the bushes. I promise I'll show you my weapon...
September 2006
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