Furry Biker
By Oddbob

Hi, my name is Bob and I have a problem...

Now I know what you're thinking, you're thinking that I've fallen for an Eve Online or am busy forgetting to shave because of Oblivion, but no, it's much worse than that. I'm addicted to making a hamster ride around in circles.

Yeah, I know, I know. Its not right.

You'll be glad to know its not some drunken pet game I play by nailing a hamsters leg to the floor and egging it on, I'm addicted to Hamure-Su, a Japanese flash game where the aim is to keep your hamster (who happens to ride a bike) going around a circular track for as long as possible. Of course, there's a catch - the hamster can only turn left. Somewhere down the line the poor sod has buggered a wheel or something and I can only assume that Hamster bike repair shops are hard to come by.

A Hamster on a bike, yesterday

Your little hamster starts off at a slow crawl for his first few laps, then as he gets more confident of his little biking skills he begins to up the pace, getting faster and faster as you go round. There's nothing more to this game, there's nothing to collect, no animation to speak of, just a static screen with an island in the centre and a Hamster on a bike. Games really don't get much purer than this.

The humane part of me stops and thinks that perhaps this is animal cruelty at its worst - making the poor bastard ride around in circles till he careers off towards a grassy fate, but the gamer in me is screaming for the furry sod to stay on the track regardless of how his little legs must be feeling. "Between you and me, Hammy, we can go further than we've ever been before." Yet he must know, as I do, that the crushing inevitabilty of the collision with the island will come sooner rather than later. Its the only way things can end in this game. Either you keep pushing little Hammy harder and faster, or you drive the poor bugger into the island at a rate of knots.

A Crash Test Hamster checking the island meets current safety standards

If nothing else, Hamure-Su is an example to all game designers that you don't need to push the polygons, you don't need to bury me in statistics or drown me in bloom - one click gaming and a big bag full of heart pounding fun is good enough to keep me occupied for hours. I click on the game, and its loaded and ready to play within seconds, no faffing around worrying wether my graphics card will collapse under the pressure of a million particles, no long wait as it drags a million data files from a DVD.

Hamure-Su is distilled gaming loveliness.

Go on, try it for yourself. Just be sure to say hi to Hammy from me.

Not a fucking orc in site

Give the Hamster a hammering here. 2,180 is my record so far.

April 2006

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