Two become one.
By Bog

Well, it's been a couple of years since we pulled on the old HEV suit for real.

Half-Life2, Episode One. I guess that makes HL2 "Episode Zero", now. Well, fair play. Lucas did worse. Tell you something, though... if you've been playing since the Sector C Test Labs back at Black Mesa (Half-Life, the original, I guess it's Minus One now), you've gotten used to being the G-Man's puppet.

Yeah. You can leave that behind. And I tell you what - if you've been playing this game for the plot rather than just killing AIs through the face, you're in for some kind of plot-twist treat.

Enough of that, though. You want to know how it plays. Don't'cha? Don't'cha? Well, you can't play for the first five minutes. So make damned sure you don't overstress your video tech and that your drivers are bang up-to-date before you start it, or you're in for a world of hurt. If your kit tries to take use of the new technology and it's not quite up to it, you'll get very very bored with seeing the intro.

"Gordon?" "Yes, Alyx?" "I'm going to throw up." "Oh."

However. The game starts with a tour-de-force of a roller-coaster ride. It's just plot, no gameplay, at first. But it's better in terms of visuals, drama and acting than most things in the cinema today. And then it gets violent.

Very, very violent.

This is a lot more brutal than HL2. There is carnage, and it's fast, and it's difficult. You're up against far heavier odds, generally in far tighter quarters than you'd find in HL2. This is where the new mechanic comes in:

Alyx Vance is almost always at your side.

Now, I fucking hate escort missions. I really do. "Support the glass-hulled cargo vessels." "Get the VIP to the extraction zone" "Protect the toothpaste"

Fucking hate it. But Alyx... Alyx I fucking love.

"Shit. I've dropped a penny, and it's rolled under that hulking heap of scrap robot. Isn't that typical?"

"Gordon! I can't see a thing! Light 'em up!"

So I turn on the flashlight, sighing to myself. "Another fucking escort missio---" FRAPPAFRAPPAFRAPPAFRAPPAFRAPPA "HA!" *kerchick* FRAPPAFRAPPAFRAPPAFRAPPA "Don't leave yourself out, Gordon!" FRAPPAFRAPPAFRAPPAFRAPPAFRAPPA

And then she kicked a zombie to death.

Jesus.

Dear, dear Alyx. I've never, ever seen an NPC like this before. At one point, when she was being attacked, I actually found myself screaming "GET THE FUCK OFF MY MATE!" and unloading a few cylinders of .44 Magnum hollowpoint into people, because I was a bit unhappy that they were being ungentlemanly.

I really fucking love Alyx.

"Oh, Gordon. The barren landscapes of a post-apocalyptic future have a twisted beauty, don't you think?"
"Hmmmm? What? Oh, sorry, I was looking at your arse again."

What else? New puzzles. A few new enemies. One HUGE twist on the old play-mechanic. And it's beautiful. It is a fucking movie. One which lets you still pit your skill against an increased, enhanced AI that actually has the wit to take cover and do very unpleasant things with grenades.

It's short, kids. It's four hours max for an experienced FPSer. On normal difficulty I can clock it in slightly under an hour. But if you race through it, you're robbing yourself of the richness that they've laid on. Spending five minutes listening to Doc Kleiner's speech from the suborned Combine monitors is well worth it.

It's £12. It's HL2 Plus Some. It's got zombies with grenades.

And, it's got an NPC who plays better than most co-op online gamers.

I want more.

July 2006

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