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Barginlicious If you are in America as you read this, you can pop into your local Burger King, buy a meal, and gain the opportunity to purchase one of three videogames for your Xbox or Xbox 360. Here’s the marketing blurb: - BK™ Xbox® Video Games have a strong and long-lasting branding effect for BURGER KING®. Customers playing the games interact deeply with the BK® brand and its key icons and discuss the game with friends, colleagues and family. This represents an enormous “advertising value” for BK® in terms of consumer impressions – never before achieved with any SLO in our category. Oh do piss off. Make of that what you will. I’m not convinced you can put such a sophisticated spin on your average BK customer’s interaction in purchasing a game for $3.99 whilst tucking into half a pound of carbohydrate and a gallon of chocolate shake. Still, it keeps people in jobs.
That aside, we still thought it worthwhile to pack a bag and endure the ropy middle-aged stewardesses of American Airlines to fly over the pond and eat our way through three fat-drenched meals in Boston in order to bring you this Rodent-exclusive review. The games themselves are fully packaged in the Microsoft green Xbox livery, and will run on your US 360 or chipped Xbox. Achievements are available in the 360 versions, and the graphics are somewhat improved for the more powerful console. So are they any good? 1. Big Bumpin’ You control a dodgem type car and attempt to literally bump your opponents (up to four players or computer AI) off of a Sumo Wrestling type ring. Power ups, trap doors and big drops are all there to assist you in your quest if you can be arsed. Play can last literally for two seconds or indeed two minutes depending on the type of game you are playing.
You can play as either the BK “King” mascot himself or even as a Whopper Burger or someone called Brooke Burke (who he?). You couldn’t make it up. Gameplay is pretty limited, you steer and move using one thumbstick and that’s about it. The monotony of it all somewhat overwhelmed me within 5 minutes. I enjoyed the meal more frankly. 2. PocketBike Racer. Dress up a grown man as a Fast Food chain icon then sit him on one of those mini monkey bike and get him to race against other riders in various suburban environments? Sound like a game? Yeah baby! Despite the premise, this is actually more amusing than disturbing. The $3.99 price and the ridiculousness of what you’re playing actually makes this a little gem of a game.
Mario Kart style pick ups add to the melee and you’re left with a sense of satisfaction as you hair around mad courses and blow your opponents off the course using a variety of weapons. Land mines, rocket and shields are available for your use to assist you in stringing together several wins. Ramps and clever use of scenery make the courses interesting enough for the bargain basement price. Nice. 3. Sneak King. OK. Lets start off by saying that this is absolutely fucking mad. The basic premise is thus: you play “King” the seminal mascot of Burger King. Your job is to sneak up on unsuspecting victims and pounce on them, rewarding them with a tasty BK meal. Alternatively, you can hide in various locations about the level and jump out to scare the shit out of your “customers” and hand over the fast fatty goodies. Think the stealthy bits of Metal Gear Solid meets no-guns Doom. In pantyhose.
Points are awarded based of the level of surprise you deliver to your victims, and the quantity of food you dish out. What makes this game is that you really don’t know if its taking itself seriously or not. Is someone at Blitz Games having a laugh at the irony-dodging Americans? I just don’t know. Deliberate or not, the game delivers huge amount of hilarious shitness in spades that you just can’t help liking. The perverse way in which King tip toes around like a camp ghostly baddy in an episode of Scooby Doo, is more disturbing and bizarre-funny than anything I’ve seen in a videogame for quite some time. Moments like jumping out of a pile of leaves to hand over a double Chicken Royale with fries to a startled Yank is just too entertaining to miss. Unintentional hilarity? Probably. Worth four bucks? Absolutely. Sneak King is the pick of the crop here. December 2006
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