Let me take you back, before Mario Sunshine, Halo, Ridge Racer, Iradis Alpha or indeed Crazy Kong.....let me take you waaaaay back. I'm talking 1982 or earlier.

I can remember reading about the 'new phenominon' that was Space Invaders. I first saw a picture and an article in the 'Scotsman' of this small tousel haired urchin grasping his very own 'Space Invaders' machine. The story went that his father had boasted how there was a machine in his local that let you shoot 'invaders'. However, the child being a slip of a boy could not gain access to the pub and his kindly father had gone and bought the child his very own machine.

"Cooo", I thought he is so bleeding lucky. After many hint dropping and downright asking, my mum refused to buy me a similar "Invader" machine, dimissing it as "Rubbish", "a waste of money" and "You'll only break it!!". I would stare at the picture in her catalogue and wish it could be mine. The white sleek body with the glowing white invaders pacing up and down, I could only imagine how it would play.

The next birthday came around, it was the usual fayre of Beano annuals, socks and Top Trumps (Armoured warfair and Sportscars editions). Inside my Granny's card (always had a man fishing or a footballer on the front, There must be special Granny card shops cos anytime I'm out I can never see such hideous looking things) there was always money. After tearing open the cards I managed to amass about 12 quid, more than enough for an 'Invader" machine, or so i thought.

Back then, there were no decent shops near (Decent shop = shop thats sells electronic games) and my only opportunity would be a trip to Edinburgh, some 15 miles away.

A few weeks passed with the money steadily burning a hole in my pocket. Then one day my Dad announced we were going to the cinema in Edinburgh, cant recall the film, it MIGHT have been Empire Strikes Back but I aint sure. I wasnt really concerned, this would be my chance to get "Galaxy Invader"!!

After arriving, the first port of call (to shut me up) was John Menzies in Princes Street. I rushed down the escalator of paradise. There they were, a glitterring wall of Handhelds. Pucman, Alex Higgins Snooker, even a yellow version of the Invader machine but this had multi-coloured invaders. At that point I just wished I could have bought the lot but I had my budget, and my budget was 12 pounds. Glancing at the prices it became apparent at every one I wanted was just too goddammed dear. The machines appeared to be arranged in a grid with the expensive ones being at the top, reducing in value the lower down the wall they were. Winding my eyes from left to right, top to bottom, they eventually settled not even on "Galaxy Invader" (that was way too expensive) but the last, right most, bottom one called simply 'Invader". It was a little blue thing with a dark screen complete with a respendent little orange joystick. I think it was made by Bandai or Mattel aint too sure. Heck it looked the business and it was only 8 quid, enough for batteries too. I quickly exchanged cash for it and proceeded to 'read' the box while we made our way back to the car. I sat through a chip roll in a cafe and an entire film with my mind on one thing only.

Back home, the flap was lifted and the package pulled from within, polystyrene segments discarded, i hastily put the batteries in. Heck it even smelled good, part plasticy and part polystyrene, that typical smell that all new electronicy toys smell off!!

Switching on, I was met with a jingle then the luminous red UFO emerged, coming in peace as there were no bullets. It wasnt long before the Invader appeared. He wasnt interested in moving down, just left to right and threw the odd missile my way. I thought that maybe over time, his mates would show up, but they never did. Mmmm, it seemed a tad easy in all it 3 lane glory. It wasnt long before i could chalk over the 999 highest score with the skill level never increasing. Before too long it was in pieces and relegated to the bucket.

I progressed thru various incarnations of Soccer, Basketball and driving games from Mattel, Bandai, Grandstand amongst others including Merlin. One of the better 'Space ' games was "Invader from Space" from Grandstand, obviously called "invader" as the technology didnt allow more than one at a time. This one was better though, it was quite big, white in colour and had a big green, plastic circle on the top which housed the screen itself. It even had a fews good tunes and offered more of a challenge but it was still too easy. It wasnt long before this suffered the same fate as all the others, in pieces then the bucket. I became quite disallusioned with all of these, even the original "Invader' didnt cut it, after having a go of a mates.

This was all to change one christmas when 'Astro Wars' entered the fray!!!

Here was a multiple FIVE LANE, (no more just left right and middle!!), multi-colour visual feast on the senses!! Fuck it even looked like an arcade cab with its magnified screen and artwork backdrop. Offering 4 sections, multi coloured sprites and 5 skill levels this was truly the dogs bollocks. "Dah la rala rala!, Da la rala rala" it would announce on powerup. Waves consisted of Galaxian type attacks, a mother ship level and a docking with the space ship thing. Played on level 5 this offered the sternest of challenges and was the closest I was ever gonna get to the real thing.

Hormones kicked in, I discovered porn mags and channel 4 'red triangle' films and got my first computer. 'Astro Wars' became surplus to requirements and was soon to vanish, where to I have no idea!! (probably thrown out to make room)

A year ago, while at a mates house he left me in his computer room to make some coffee. As I scanned all the shite he had, I spotted him, there he was "Astro fuckin Wars". I picked it up and dusted him off. "Kenny", I shouted, "I didnt know you still had this, I loved this!".

"Fuck it, take it if you want, it doesnt work". So what, I thought, it still looks cool after all these years and would look good in any bedroom. When I got home, I dusted him off and thought "what the hell, lets give him a try". I dug out an old AC adaptor, plugged him in, switched on "Dah la rala rala!, Da la rala rala" it announced........................We were reunited once again!

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