Hello. My name is Gareth Noyce and I'm a 27 year old software engineer. I'm also a computer addict.

I'm here to make the first step, to face up to my addiction, to try and share my story with others.

Like most addicts, my exposure to computers came early, during the 8bit era. I owned a CPC, getting a C64 and Spectrum soon after. But my story doesn't start there; it was purely recreational computing! Nothing serious! Nothing I couldn't handle...

At school I was bright, but lazy. I had a short attention span, an ego, and few shining talents. Computers, and science maybe, (although my teachers would no doubt disagree), but at least the subjects interested me. Unlike geography.

History was interesting, up to the point of having to remember it. Business Studies seemed to have an allergic reaction to me and I also had serious difficulties learning languages, much to my regret. I did learn one word of Spanish though: Amiga.

Perhaps the machine was named with tongue firmly in cheek, or perhaps those stoned yanks were trying to make a point while they meditated on their joyboards: Technology can love.

Sure, I was drawn to the machine by games like Shadow of the Beast, Populous, Starglider 2 and Stunt Car Racer - WH Smith carefully keeping them behind glass, guarded by 50 year old ladies with facial hair - but the power they held over me was tangible. I was susceptible. The technology was becoming transparent to me; I understood the importance of 16bits, I was ready for custom chips, I was mature enough to use a CLI, and I was *dying* to own one of my very own. Although, I never really knew why at the time.

It's true, the Amiga started my obsession with computers, and I guess it began with my first glimpse of that over sized beige box and sexy 3.5" disk drive. To fuel my lust I worked 3 paper-rounds a morning and 4 in the afternoon. I stole every tip left out for milkmen, postmen and paperboy I encountered, ruthless in my determination to buy an A500 of my very own. Within two months (who said crime doesn't pay?) I had the money, and a dutifully ordered Batman pack was sat on my bed.

I could have stopped there. I mean, I was in the "cooler" half of the school, I didn't need to threaten my reputation by giving bullies reason to suspect the hidden "nerd". But to me the Amiga was more than a games machine. So much more. I'd inadvertently stumbled across a conduit for my hidden creativity. Probably more exciting for me was the fact that I was living at a time when hundreds of people were realising this self same thing. And shouting about it!

I took the plunge and ordered my first Public Domain disks. I stuck to names I knew; C64 pirates and crackers, but boy, did the gamble pay off. Sure, games still impressed: SWIV, Chaos Engine, Rainbow Islands [the list goes on] but the Amiga could always do more. There was always a bigger hit to find. Fresh fuel for the addiction.

Most of us have dabbled with Digital Narcotics - the demos, the music, the egos - some people fleetingly, but others, like me, go beyond the social playing of Budbrain's Megademo. We become collectors, experts, followers. We name an effect from 30 paces *and* trace it's lineage to the original demo and its party of release. It becomes mere nicotine in the larger pattern of consumption.

"Demos lead to trackers. Trackers lead to DPaint. DPaint leads to DevPac. DevPac leads to aspirations of game coding. Just say no..."

It's too late for me now. I've gone too far, learnt too much, discovered hitherto unknown abilities and opened my eyes to free software and creative communities. Like a seasoned dealer, the Amiga gave the first hit for free and I've been addicted ever since. Sure, eventually I had to move to Photoshop, Reason replaced my tracker and I've long since giving up any ambitions of assembly optimisation. But everyday I look for my hit... Everyday I have to play a game, or watch a demo, or produce something of my very own.

Computers are still work, rest and play, but one always gave a sweeter high, one that I still consume to this day. After all, my dealer's female and she loves me still. That soft, Micro-Methadone just doesn't cut it anymore.

You can add your thoughts on this story in the forum