An
athlete gone wrong
Somewhere near the beginning I find myself in
Willenhall. The family has moved to the West Midlands after a
brief stay in Liverpool where my destiny had been set: I'm going
to play football for Everton.
I am seven years old and it is 1983. The family
has just moved to its latest place of residence and I'm in the
street wearing my Everton kit trying to beat my keepy-up record.
I meet Robin and from this day forth my life will be football.
Robin is a Liverpool fan and having just moved from Liverpool
I am the obvious choice to be his new best
friend. I had an Everton kit but Robin had an entire bedroom wall
covered in Liverpool merchandise - Robin is much more serious
about football than I am. Robin has been to Anfield to watch Liverpool
play, Robin is the cool kid and I'm his new friend.
We play football every day and we dream of moving
to Liverpool so that one day we can play for our respective teams.
Robin lives on the other side of town, past the two tower blocks
where a prostitute lives on the top floor and you can get sex
for 10p. I don't know what a prostitute is, but the playground
myth remains unproven as every boy
is saving his 10p to buy sweets. I get to Robins house and we
play football in his garden. We have tea and go to his bedroom
to flick through his collection of Pannini stickers.
We admire the pictures of Kenny Dalglish he
has collected from Shoot magazine but my eyes are distracted because
Robin has a TV in his bedroom. Robin also has something attached
to his TV which I discover is called a Spectrum 48K. We play Manic
Miner and I am lost in a world of spangly music and vivid colours.
I am home. I am thinking of Manic Miner. My
football sits in the corner of the room begging for attention.
My Everton kit is fading and is to be found in the bottom of the
wash basket, where it no longer adorns my body.
I discover my neighbour Michael, 6 years my
elder, is an owner of Manic Miner. I become Michaels shadow. I
am in Michaels bedroom and he is showing me his pornographic playing
cards but I don't want to play cards, I want to play Manic Miner.
It is 1986 and my Everton kit has long since
been discarded. The family now lives in Shropshire and I am unwrapping
a box that contains my first computer. It is a Spectrum and it
has been wrapped up with a copy of Manic Miner.
I was going to be a footballer. I am an athlete
gone wrong but I don't care because I'm playing on my own copy
of Manic Miner.
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