I don't know when it started,
but it's like an addiction now. Not like cigarettes or anything
- a good kind of addiction. The kind that actually saves you money
and yet still makes you feel happy and content.
At least once a month I head off into town and
wander round all the various purveyors of computer stuff looking
for pre-owned, or reduced priced bargains. I can't help myself.
I'm a bachelor computer nerd with nothing better to do.
It's like some un-tapped world that only I know
about - like the hidden platforms full of rings in Sonic The Hedgehog,
or those really dark secret rooms with the rocket launchers and
things in Jedi Knight II.
I’ll show you “bright eyes” pal…
This is how it goes - You're sorting through
the big wire box of stuff. You see a "pre-owned" copy
of a game still for sale for full price just a few feet away.
It's a fraction of the full price because the manual has a tiny
rip in it. It was probably bought by a misguided wrinkly for their
10 year old grandson only to find out that an XBox was not the
same thing as a Playstation, even if they do both plug into the
TV.
It gives you that warm, fuzzy, and slightly
evil feeling. In the back of your brain there's this voice. "They
must've made a mistake,” it says, “they must've priced
it wrong. They can't REALLY be selling a £40 game for £5
just because the manual has a small rip in it. Can they?"
But then the liberating truth hits you. They
don't care if it's a remake of a game you've loved since your
childhood, or if just the sound of the intro music gives you goose
bumps. They simply don't care what it goes for, as long as it
goes. Damaged or unsold stock is a liability - taking up space
that could be used for new shiny full-price things.
So you grab it and pay for it as quickly as
possible, checking to make sure no-one else notices in case a
fraught single mother who has just paid £35 for "super
pokemon tree-wars II " finally looses the plot and starts
throwing small scabby children at you or something.
Sadly, not a real game.
And that's it. Game acquired, oodles of cash
saved, the brain releases endorphins, and the voices in your head
start playing "I feel good" by James Brown.
In the last few weeks I've managed to get some
real classics - Atari Arcade Hits 1 for the PC for £2. Space
Invaders for the Playstation for £2.97.A price which even
the spotty shop teen agreed was "just plain odd". Wild
Metal for the Dreamcast for 50p – I don’t care that
it’s a terrible game - I'd pay that much just for the replacement
case!
Don't get me wrong, there is also a lot of overpriced
tat. You have to know what you're looking for, or at least what
you want; otherwise you could spend a fortune and end up with
a big pile of technocrap. You have to make sure you’re not
being covertly ripped off - I've seen shops trying to sell CDs
for £10 that are cracked beyond repair. But generally, theres
bargains in them thar hills... er... bins. Oh whatever.
Someone has to decide whether to charge
£2.97 or £2.98 for Pong Wars 2000. That scares me.
Anyway - that’s a great weight off my
chest – I've admitted it at last. I'm addicted to bargain
bins and reduced price tat, and I don't care who knows it.
Forget your brand new £40 games - I'm
off to play my £3 copy of Playstation Q*Bert.
MADHIPPO,
April 2004.
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