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And the winner is...
By Rodentia
Blimey, another extraordinary year for videogaming. Rolling hot off the back of the incredible 2006, this last year further reinforced our suspicions that this time, right now, is the golden age of videogaming. We’re in it people - we’re right inside something special.
And on the 31st of January we were also right inside a few hundred pints and a glittering night of awarding, celebrating and loving videogames’ fantastic 2007. I say ‘glittering’, I do of course mean that we were locked into the basement of a London boozer once again and doing battle with the demons of games-politics, sponsors and the slight smell of piss from that broken urinal in the Gents.
We be awardin’!
Oh yeah, and that small matter of the Portal Karaoke...
So, without further fannying about - THIS AM AWARDS NOW!
And none shall be untouched by success and cider...
What a cracking night it was, in no small part thanks to the kind sponsorship of Deep Silver whose support of the event meant we were able to buy everyone a pint. Thanks to the Deep Silver people for championing independent games media - we appreciate it. Thanks as well to Deep Silvia, we love yah!
Free pint tokens. Oh yes!
The Rodent Game Awards are very much just us silly fuckers pushing back against the ridiculous faux-importance of the Game BAFTAs – an event with less artistic credibility than Kerry Katona. Some of our choices are controversial, some are personal and others rock-solid unquestionable winners. Awards are like that - there is no such thing as a definitive winner really, it’s all down to interpretation and perspective. We like that a lot and we like that so many of our guests were prepared to challenge, celebrate and commiserate over our choices – that talk, that in itself was the real celebration here. We all came together to give a collective cheer for an industry that is supplying us gamers with so many fantastic experiences.
The crowd waits with both bated and beery breath. The best combo there is.
Best Explosions
Winner: Crackdown
Rodent said: "Crackdown was a proper surprise hit last year - inventive and massively satisfying. Many of us are still playing now, mostly to go and pile things up and make them explode. Exploding pretend stuff in videogames is lovely and Crackdown knows this and feeds us this. Thank you Crackdown, thank you very much."
Jim Cope of Realtime Worlds said: "It’s great to be nominated in a set of awards that puts so much value in the player experience. That we managed to pull these nominations alongside brilliant and esteemed opposition not only underlines what a great year for games it’s been but is reward for us to be considered in the same league. Explosions in Crackdown only had two rules: more and bigger. It’s a simple recipe to success but not a rule we used for agility orbs. Orb rules were just ‘more’. It’s great to be nominated, greater to win. Best of all is that we made people smile with a big bang. Thanks for the giggles, without them we didn’t have a chance."
Runners up: Motorstorm, Halo 3, Flatout Ultimate Carnage
2006 Winner: Black
Len Sauby of Realtime Worlds - Words spoken by an actor.
Synthesised ‘Ghostbusters!’ Memorial Voice and Character Award
Winner: Nathan Drake - Uncharted
Rodent said: "This could have gone horribly wrong for Naughty Dog - lots of attempts at wise-cracking videogame heroes have fallen flatter than my Nan’s shrivelled old chest. With Nathan Drake the buggers have only gone and done it - delivered a proper convincing human game hero. Drake drives the story and the action along making the ride through Uncharted a thrilling action-adventure. An awful lot of guff about games-as-films gets thrown around the industry - well for once, here is a game that you are very much a player of but that also manages to feel like a movie experience. That’s a huge triumph and we look forward to more like it now the formula is inked in."
Nathan Drake said: "Make me run through a puddle, go on - look, my trousers go all wet. And then they dry. Fuck you in the face GlaDOS."
Runners up: The entire cast of Bioshock, GlaDOS, Unnamed DJ - Umbrella Chronicles
2006 Winner: Marcus Fenix - Gears of War
The ‘voice’ of Nathan Drake being worked here by our very own Twisted Scrote.
The Holy Shit will you just look at that Eyes of Jesus Award
Winner: Opening Ocean Sequence - Bioshock
Rodent said: "This category isn’t so much a graphics award as one for art direction and visual immersion - those moments in videogames where you forget the medium and just register that shock of an incredible sight. The opening sequence of Bioshock - when that 1930s airliner propeller goes spinning by, doppler scream loud in your confused drowning brain - meets the criteria perfectly. No game has ever begun with heavier portent of things to come. And it proper shit us up too."
2K Games said: "See! See! It isn’t just System Shock 2 under water and all in the 1930s and that."
Runners up: First vantage point - Assassin’s Creed, Helicopter flight - Call of Duty 4, Uncharted
2006 Winner: New award
Once again we were graced with the presence of Sony Computer Entertainment Belize’s Rodrigo Hensley - here shown moments after snatching the microphone away to berate us for overlooking Uncharted in the Eye of Jesus category "You men of writing have no honour, no shame - I have stared into the eyes of Jesus and they tell me this."
Best Game Level
Winner: Level 19 - Portal
Rodent said: Aperture SCIENCE!
Valve said: "Walk this way and there will be cake."
Runners up: All Ghillied Up - CoD4, Fort Frolic - Bioshock, Nottingham - Resistance: Fall of Man
2006 Winner: Tivliz Asylum - Black
This man touched us in that ‘special’ place.
We done singing. Should have been shit. Was ace.
Most difficult moment in a videogame to explain to the missus
Winner: Sitting on the sofa watching telly with your girlfriend - The Darkness
Rodent said: "Ahh. Hahahah - yeah, we got proper called on this one. Many said we had missed 2007’s craziest videogaming moment off our nominations altogether. And shit they were right. We know when we’ve got it wrong, so instead of arguing for any of our actual nominations we accept that ‘yes indeed’ that bit in The Darkness where you opt to stay with your girlfriend on the sofa watching movies instead of ‘playing’ - that was the most difficult moment in a videogame to explain to the missus in 2007."
Starbreeze Studios said: "Hark! We’re trying to watch a movie here."
Runners up: Space and time - Portal, Oooh missus - The Witcher, Sticky Star Power - Guitar Hero II, Muttering Mentalist - Zelda Phantom Hourglass
2006 Winner: Gay cowboy outfit - Dead Rising
Big Grin
Winner: All of Super Mario Galaxy
Rodent said: "Sure it got a bit sickly-sweet but anyone who didn’t spend their time grinning like a loon all the way through this game is dead inside."
Nintendo said: "Teehee, teehee, teehee."
Runners up: Still Alive - Portal, Mothership takedown - Earth Defence Force 2017, Rally of Japan - DiRT
2006 Winner: Nuking New York - DEFCON
Nintendo’s Shigeru Miyamoto demonstrates the Big Grin.
Best Game To Play With Your Mates
Winner: Big Team Battle - Halo 3
Rodent said: "This was the toughest decision we had to make - perhaps that’s indicative of the leaps forward online videogaming has made this last year? How consoles have ushered in a hugely satisfying new era of casual drop-in, drop-out online gaming with, well yeah, with your mates. Despite FIFA’s Pro 5v5 offering the most innovative online gaming, and despite CoD4’s unquestionably better overall online experience – Halo 3’s Big Team Battle, eight versus eight rumble-fests, shaded it at the final reckoning. So many times last year groups of Rodents found ourselves crying with laughter at crazy infant-school rushes of riotous Big Team brawling. Lovely."
Microsoft’s Andy Irving said: "Halo 3 once again raised the bar in online MP gaming and matchmaking - perfectly pitched blast-and-laugh-a-thons on some great maps - glad you liked it."
Bungie said: "See that big pile of money over there? We sometimes sleep in that - it’s so very, very comfortable."
Runners up: Online races - Forza 2, Pro 5v5 - FIFA 2008, Multiplayer - Call of Duty 4
2006 Winner: Co-op - Gears of War
The 'Ooh, can I have a go please' award for most inclusive game
Winner: Super Mario Galaxy
Rodent said: "Despite Wii Sports’ domination of the gimmers-playing-pretend-bowling demographic, and despite its undoubtedly inclusive gameplay, somehow we’ve all gotten a bit tired of the trick now. Super Mario Galaxy won out here because of the lovely way it involves that spare prick sat on the sofa next to you. Well I say ‘spare prick’ I sort of really mean your kid or missus or something - and didn’t it get them involved in such a charming manner ‘collect stars and get the baddies out of my hair from time to time please’. And there was no cocking that up, was there?"
Nintendo said: "Families who play together, stay together. We watch over you when you sleep, did you know that? Sometimes we also touch you."
Runners up: Wii Sports, Guitar Hero III, Singstar (PS3 version)
2006 Winner: Wii Sports
See, we know how to make them ladies feel relaxed around gamers.
The ‘This-is-Shitting-Ace-What-the-Fuck-Were-FEDGE/GamesTUM-Thinking’ Unexpected Diamond Award
Winner: Earth Defence Force 2017
Rodent said: "What a riot this thing was - 1950s sci-fi B-movie meets Spaceharrier by way of Independence Day. Wonderful entertainment - silly, frantic, heroic and thrilling. Everything a brilliant Saturday tea-time adventure should be. And both FEDGE and GamesTUM refused, point-blank refused, to see the fun here. Fuck ‘em in the eye - EDF2017 is a diamond."
Sandlot said: "Would you look at the size of that thing!"
Runners up: The Witcher, Jetpac Refuelled, FIFA 2008
2006 Winner: New Award
No idea who this man was - but he appeared delighted with his award.
Rodent Readers Award (most enjoyed game of 2007)
Winner: Bioshock
Rodent said: "This award is voted for by our readers - they are given the freedom to vote for any game they enjoyed during the year. Our clear winner under this system was Bioshock. It was a game that hit the spot consistently and then stayed in the brain long after - like some sort of satisfying drug. Rodents went to Rapture, came out and kept a little of that place with them afterwards. A huge triumph in atmosphere, videogames story-telling and game structure. We loved it."
2K Games said: "Would you kindly?"
2006 Winner: Guitar Hero
The tension...
The agony...
...and the ecstasy!
As Bioshock takes the Readers’ Award.
Rodent Game Awards - Deep Silver Game of the Year 2007
Winner: Portal
Rodent said: "What a tough year to make a list of ‘just’ six of the best - we struggled to make our shortlist short enough; Okami, CoD4, Motorstorm, Team Fortress 2, Phantom Hourglass and DiRT were all in with a genuine shout - yet a clear winner was always apparent to us. Portal is extraordinary - a student tech demo given such heart, such astonishing character. Not just the character of GlaDOS but of the whole world - never before has the player been gifted those glimpses behind what we had assumed were false videogame-convention walls, frosted windows that later we stand the ‘wrong’ side of, glimpses underneath the very workings of the game. That Portal does so with such cheek and such hefty old balls left us feeling like perhaps the new generation of developers have somehow opened up their own line back into the original videogaming spirit - to those machine-limited crazy leaps of imagination swept-in with the first few waves of games, in which a simple idea could drive a complete game universe and do so convincingly and successfully. Portal is so far from a marketers’ tick-box publishing blueprint and yet its consumption is absolutely and utterly satisfying. Of course Valve knew that all along and we suspect that Portal’s release within the Half-Life-flavour Orange Box was itself a bit of shrewd viral marketing - sneak it in under the radar and let the buzz begin. We love videogames and we love Portal."
Valve said: "We love you too - here, have this ace videogame."
Runners up: Super Mario Galaxy, Halo 3, Bioshock, Forza 2, Crackdown
2006 Winner: Ridge Racer 6
Game of the Year...
It’s Portal!
Rodent Awards
Hope you don’t mind but we also like to make a handful of Awards to our Rodent contributors - three awards to say ‘thanks’ for the brilliant year we’ve had on the magazine. Consistently-big readership numbers, tens of thousands enjoying our RSS feed and still the same old unreliable release and hope schedule. We love you lot and we love our writers. Thanks everyone.
Rodent Review of the Year
Winner: Bluefunk - Shrek 3
Rodent said: "Hahhaha - you made your kid cry through the miracle of videogames."
Bluefunk said: "I'd like to firstly thank Activision - this review would not exist if it were not for their special effort in forging such a cynical movie tie-in. I would have been straight down to head office with a pick-axe if it were not for the absolute awesomeness of Call of Duty 4 to balance out the psychological damage caused to my little boy. At Rodent, the standard of writing each month is consistently excellent with the quality, passion and enthusiasm often putting the professional gaming media to shame. So I therefore feel extremely honoured to win this award. The fact that it took the tears of child to win this year just shows the level of competition. My second child will just be coming of gaming age when Shrek4 is slated for release.... so we'll be watching, Activision... we'll be watching ..."
2006 Winner: Matt - New Super Mario Brothers
Rodent Contributor of the Year
Winner: Maibock
Rodent said: "Last year TT got the award and then went on to, umm, write almost nothing in the following twelve months! It’s the kiss of death! Maibock and, we would like to say publically, Kentish were in the frame for this one - both writers have delivered consistently-great copy built around engaging ideas and superb writing ability. Maibock gets the award for bringing something unique to the Rodent party - his celebrations of American gaming culture through nearly thirty years of play have been a sheer joy to read and we’d like to say a massive ‘thank you’ to him for his incredible 2007."
Maibock said: "Oh cool! I'm so fucking honoured. I've always thought maybe Rodent was a couple of guys having a little laugh at my expense, having to write about the things I love. I certainly appreciate the recognition, especially from you guys. Have a pint for me, please!"
2006 Winner: TT
Tiny SolidChris (pictured standing on a milk crate) receives Steve Maibock’s contributor of the year award.
Rodent Moment of the Year
Winner: Captain Marvel - Kentish
Rodent said: "We’ve played five-a-side footy at the MCV Gamefives for years now and it’s always great fun but we tend to lose a lot. This year we had a new player on board in the shape of one Mr Kentish. With our regular captain now stuffed into goal we figured the new lad might be a good leader... and bloody hell but he then went and led this rag-tag army into the sodding final of The Shield. Kentish helped engineer victories over the likes of Disney, Eidos and 2K and take us to the very brink of complete victory - we lost the final to Future on penalties. A penalty scored, ironically, by a regular Rodent contributor who just happens to be currently taking the Future coin. An amazing day and one for which Kentish was in no small part responsible. Thanks Andy - you is Captain Marvel!"
Kentish said: "I don't think our team could have been accused of over-preparing for the tournament. For most of the squad, training had consisted of playing in the previous year's event, while Morgan, bless im, last kicked a ball 16 years ago. But that day was truly special. In all my years of playing football I have never been part of something so wonderful and uplifting. The magic of the cup, the Three Lions spirit, whatever cliche you want to fall back on. This was the spirit, loyalty and camaraderie that flows through this site made manifest on the pitch. We played as a team, we fought for each other, and we scored just a shedload of wonderful goals. Seven wins, three defeats, and a penalty shoot out loss to Future Publishing in the final. They are the stats. But the day was so much more. It was a 'moment' that will last me a lifetime,"
2006 Winner: Jet Set Willy Online
"No publihico! No publihico!"
After that, things went a bit hazy...
Spiiiinnny.
Thanks again to the super, super Deep Silver people - love yah!
Thanks to Steve, Paul, Amy, Morgan and Chloe-Jane for the pictures.
February 2008
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