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...equals Anger!
By Deggy
I can count the number of times I've really lost it with a game,
thankfully, on the fingers of one hand. Thinking about it, this may be a few more than some
of you but all of these happened quite some time ago so perhaps I've mellowed in recent
years or maybe I just got fed up of replacing broken controllers. Ultimately, I put this
anger down to the creators of the various games in question but they all include one
associated factor: my brother. Yup, on numerous occasions my younger sibling has been the cause of extreme irritation simply by being better than me at certain one-player games. However, the majority of this gaming related viciousness can be traced back to the time we would play two-player games against each other, mano-a-mano, side by side in the same room. None of this Xbox Live playing-against-people-all-around-the-world-nonsense. It was simply one console, one game, two controllers and two scheming minds plotting how one was going to 'do the dirty' on the other.
The first and perhaps, most obvious culprit for some of this resentment was Super Mario Kart on the SNES. Many moons ago, in one-player mode, I was very much The Daddy. In two-player mode against friends even more so but in two-player mode against my brother that was a different story. I can't remember exact details because we played that many games but I can probably narrow it down to either racing on Ghost Valley 1 (150cc, of course) or the first arena in Battle Mode. Basically, not only would he beat me on these courses in particular but beat me and then take the piss. Usually by knocking me off the course several times or, ahem, lapping me.
Anyway, one time it was too much for me to take and the transparent Quickjoy SN ProPad controller he had saved up to buy out of his, frankly, limited spends, went the way of the floor. At 100mph. By me. Needless to say, he was not best pleased and I'm sure a fight broke out seconds after. Mercifully, although the joypad hit the ground with some force, it was cushioned slightly by the bedroom carpet and only suffered severe damage to the casing rather than being completely destroyed. Unfortunately, by committing such a random act of peripheral violence it meant this controller now became the one I would have to use in future competitions. Quite frankly, the cracked and splintered joypad was more uncomfortable to use than a Nintendo DS covered in stinging nettles. So, a lesson learned? Maybe not...
SN ProPad before the 'accident'.
Now we all know the SNES is home to a fair number of all-time classic games but it also has its fair share of infuriating ones too. Contra 3 and Super Ghouls & Ghosts immediately spring to mind but also Super Castlevania IV. Admittedly the latter title is not renowned for being particularly difficult but, for me personally, it soooo is. Very close to the end of the game there is a section where you need to jump between chandeliers to get to the final boss. For some unknown reason, despite getting past all the other twisty-turny Mode 7 bits, no matter how hard I tried, I could not (and probably still can't) do this bit. Obviously, my brother could and took great pleasure in finishing the game off for me. Twice. So, I do all the hard work, he takes all the credit and another joypad gets smashed up this time against the wall. I'm pretty sure the SNES got a whack as well but as we're all aware, most Nintendo consoles could probably survive a small nuclear explosion so my clenched fist was hardly going to trouble it.
The Super Nintendo. Hard as nails. Pity its joypads ain't.
Being my favourite console it was only likely that it would encounter the wrath of Deggy from time to time however it was not the only piece of gaming equipment to face a bit of abuse - the poor old Amiga 500 was next in the firing line. Well, to be specific it was a copy of Winter Games to take the punishment but you could almost hear a small squeak of anxiety coming from the computers innards as the disc was hastily ejected whilst it was still being accessed. The story goes that during another two-player competition (I'm positive it was during the biathlon), I flipped after realising I could not get the hang of rotating the joystick to move the athlete. Time and time again, my brother thrashed me until it culminated in me angrily ejecting the disc, throwing it at the wall, stamping on it and then hurling it outside the house where it landed on next door's shed roof. It remained there for several years - a constant reminder of my gaming failure and fury every time I looked out of the window. My brother, quite rightly, called me a "dick".
Winter Games prior to being launched. Onto next door's shed roof that is.
As mentioned above, all of this ranting and raving happened a long time ago, probably getting on for 15 years now but that's not to say the frustration has completely diminished. Like trying to swoop under the first exit to get to the secret second exit on the Cheese Bridge level in Super Mario World or beating the final boss in Metroid Prime or just simply trying to get through any of stages, just one of them, on Stuntman for the PS2, the rage still rears its ugly head from time to time but difference here is that these are all solitary, one-player experiences. My brother and I have since grown up, moved on, got our own places, started families, etc. so don't really play against each other at games any more. No high scores set by a rival to beat, no one looking over your shoulder mocking you. I miss that. That brotherly competitiveness, that sibling rivalry. Maybe Xbox Live is the solution for us to compete once again in the future? One things for certain though, all those years ago something was definitely proven and that is where there's blame, there's usually a game.
November 2006
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