11– Jimmy Stewart vs Mario

Christmas again, then. Videogames and the festive season are cuddly bedfellows. The wonder of getting a new game/system and knowing you have nothing better to do with your time than play. Of course there’s the small matter of eating too much, drinking even more and slumping down in front the telly for a blockbuster film. It’s called ‘tradition’.

My slump-film of choice is Frank Capra’s 'It's a Wonderful Life'. Unsuccessful on its original release, continued screenings on US TV have turned it into a seasonal classic. James Stewart is superb as George Bailey, a once up-beat, go-getting member of a small-town community. The story starts brightly but quickly darkens, and the ending is a real tear duct-loosener.

Jesus. I’m welling up, just looking at the pic – Ed.

Watching It’s A Wonderful Life has become a real Christmas ritual for me. But this time last year, I missed it. I was far too busy playing Mario Kart:Double Dash. It seemed a perfect game for the time of year – bright colours with jolly music, all controlled with my beloved wireless Wavebird. Sat on my reclining leather office chair in my nice warm computer room, whilst it’s generally wintry outside – that’s what Christmas videogaming is all about.

Ely’s cats (“Get that ‘Dogs Do The Silliest Things back on, NOW”).

It's fair to say that I pretty much caned it like no other game in recent memory. Very rarely do I stick at one game for so long to get to the point of near completion (usually my excuse is that I don't have the time or I'm just not very good). So with only one championship left to complete, I could see the chance to finish the whole thing off. Of course, the last championship, the All Cup Tour, is extra-tough, because it sticks all the previous championships together to form two 16-race cups ( Normal and Mirror mode).

So all was looking perfect. After dispatching the Normal version I had all afternoon for the Mirror equivalent – and given it took about 40 mins to do the Normal one, I needed it. I never expected it to be easy, but after 15 nerve jangling rounds I was first on the leaderboard and needed to finish third to be sure of the trophy regardless of the other computer character’s results.

I came fourth.

”Haha. It’s-a-fuckin’ ME! Sunday Driver Marioooo!”

The pain lasted about an hour and then I tried again. This time with more pressure than before (I found myself second with the last race to go - so I needed a win). The Rainbow track was never very good to me, but usually it didn't matter as the championship was already sewn up.

After 99% of the race, I was leading, with one corner to go. I was thinking about champagne. But then, out of nowhere, a blue homing shell kicked me up the arse and I threw my Wavebird at the wall. Mario Kart: Double Dash has never been near my Gamecube since.

Ely’s best mate.

So – in my experience… It's a Wonderful Life. Starts off brightly, gets more and more depressing, but has a lovely happy ending.

Mario Kart: Double Dash. Starts off brightly, gets more and more happy and lovely as you revel in winning trophies, but then gives you such a brutal kick in the teeth, you abuse a poor, defenceless Wavebird.

“You see, son? I have made the TV explode with
my special power. I am a witch, and now I will
eat your face. ”

This year, I’m definitely bagsying my place in front of the telly for Christmas black-and-white film goodness, just in case I have trouble dragging myself away from PES4 on L!VE.

Merry Christmas.

ELY, December 2004.

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