Back when I were a little lad, you might well have been able to get two sweets for a penny, or a quality Pick ‘n’ Mix for ten pence, but games were a different proposition. The new-fangled Atari 2600 was just arriving in homes, and games for it came on expensive cartridges. Buying one was next to impossible, even if you saved your hardest, and the best you could hope for was that you’d get one for your birthday and, if you were really lucky, enough money to buy another one.

Now, as a parent, I’d naturally like me boy to follow in dad’s footsteps and enjoy videogames. But they’re still expensive, and I really have to put him in pants before I can fork out on games for him. Naturally, we’ve bought him a few ‘educational’ PC titles based on his favourite cartoons, but we’re more loathe to buy ‘real’ games until it’s obvious that he really is a gamer.

That’s mah boy! He was only 27 months when this was taken, early in 2003. He’s
come a long way since then.

That’s where the wonders of the internet come in.

You see, for every kids’ show on the telly, there’s a corresponding website, and they all have games featuring your offspring’s favourite characters. This is marvellous. The Nickelodeon and Nick Jr. websites in particular are treasure troves of free kids’ games. There’s 3D collecting fun in the form of Spongebob Squarepants, some Crazy Taxi-esque action with Hey Arnold, tricky 2D platforming with ChalkZone, etc.

The games themselves are pretty varied and actually quite impressive, considering they don’t cost you. Well, except for Disney, who want 60 dollars a year, and can fuck right off.

So I set my nipper up with an internet account, bookmarked a few sites, and he was good to go.

They’re just kids, you grasping fucks.

Dora’s Treasure Hunt is all very well, but the real test comes with ‘proper’ games, and Midway has very kindly provided ten arcade classics online, for free. Some of them, like Defender and Robotron, are beyond most adult mortals. But, he loves mucking about with them, which is fine with me. Others, though, lend themselves quite nicely to kid-enjoyment. My son will quite happily sit there playing Bubbles for as long as I’ll let him, with nothing to occupy him but four cursor keys and a mucky sink.

Another game he really likes is Rampage. I was in two minds as to whether he should be playing this, because it is pretty violent. On the other hand, it’s fairly cartoony, and he doesn’t understand the significance of armies and the like just yet. All he knows is he’s ‘George’ the monster, and he’s having a good time. But what he liked more was when I sat down with him, put in a credit of my own, and joined him as Ralph the monster…

“You’re my best friend, Daddy”, he said.

“You’re my best friend, too” said I, going a bit wobbly.

A feast of fun, for free.

Then there are emulators. I snagged an NES emulator and a few kid-friendly games, and he was chuffed to bits. He’s pretty good on Super Mario Bros., being able to get to World 1-4 from the start, or if he feels like it, he’ll go for the warp on level 1-2, usually springing to World 3 (his favourite). I didn’t show him how to do any of this. He figured it out for himself. I’m so proud.

Kirby’s Adventure is another favourite of his. He seems to be really good at that, too. I’ve never played it, but I sit and watch him and he can get for miles on it. There are times when he’ll get stuck and whinge, “Daddy, you have to help!” But I encourage him and tell him if he tries harder he can do it, and invariably he does, and he’ll smile a huge smile and say: “I love you, Daddy”. If you’re a parent, you’ll know how happy that makes me.

Bubbles. I was never a big fan. Now I’ll never forget it.

Mind you, I don’t just sit and let him play videogames all day, because that’s just not healthy. As a kid, he has lots of other toys of different types. One of these is a toy broom. It’s got a yellow handle and yellow bristles, and the rest of it is red. The other day he came running through the room with his broom held in front of him, shouting: “Look daddy, I’m being like Bubbles!”.

Beneath my giddy grin I know in my heart that he’s already a gamer to the core.

February 2005

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