There was a man tarrying in a hospital waiting room, playing Metroid Fusion on his GBA whilst worriedly expecting his wife to give birth at any moment. Five minutes later, the midwife (a man!) came through the door and said "I have some great news - your wife's given birth! Would you like to come through".

So the man stood up and the two mans went through the door, where there were four tiny little beds. The man went up to the first bed and looked down. There he saw a beautiful baby girl with the most wonderful azure-tinted eyes and a patch of the softest black hair you could imagine. He was overcome with great emotion, and said to the midwife "I've been waiting for this to happen forever. I will nurture her, and love her, and be the best father I can". The midwife returned "I'm sorry, but this isn't your baby", and led him to the second bed.

In the second bed was a baby as beautiful as the first one, but with no arms or legs. The father nonetheless was still overcome with joy at his creation and said "although she can't walk, I can pick her up and carry her with me and show her the world. I will love her no less than I could love another child". Sadly, the midwife had to disappoint the man again, "I'm sorry, this is not your baby. Follow me", and on they went to a third bed.

On this bed was neither a fully developed baby, nor a baby with no arms or legs. It was just a head, albeit a head that exhibited the same charm as the two infants the man had seen before. The man, unperturbed, said "Although there are many things I may not be able to do with this child, I will sit by it and talk to it, and read to it, and offer it all my knowledge". Yet the midwife had familiar news for him - "I'm sorry sir, but again this is not your baby." The midwife pointed to the fourth and final bed: "Look there".

Upon the man's face came a look of consternation - on the pillow was a solitary human eye, wriggling around. The man composed himself and said "It doesn't matter. I will love this eye like I would love any other child that is mine. I can show it everything that is wonderful, and it will look up to me and think 'I love my father'. Don't think this will stop me!"

The midwife turned to him and said "I'm sorry - it's blind!".

Then the midwife spotted the GBA that the man was holding and said "Oh - have you got to the bit in that game where you have to fight that Nightmare thing?"

"Yeah"

"Oh right"

July 2006

Comments!