With your host
On my travels around good old London Town, I started to notice some rather strange advertisements. ‘Your girlfriends white bits here’ said one. On my tube stop at Vauxhall the option to ‘Pass, shoot and dribble here’ seemed to be available according to the poster, all set on an awe-inspiring white background in dark crimson text.
This is a genuine photograph of one of the new PSP adverts which are popping up in cities across the land. My girlfriends white bits? What the fuck? The end of her toe nails and her teeth?
‘Saucy emails won’t get you fired here’ re-assured another poster. Saucy emails on my PSP? I didn’t think the PSP had an email program. If they’re referring to collecting webmail then yeah, that’s possible, but I certainly wouldn’t like to pen a sonnet in reply using their backwards text entry system.
In short, the latest crop of PSP adverts are shit. And not shit in a ‘I like to say things are shit because it’s an easy way to get a laugh’ kinda way, but shit in a ‘You seriously didn’t pay a bunch of coke-addled wankers to make these adverts, did you?’ kinda way.
Confused as to the meaning of the adverts, and the motivation behind Sony spunking wodges of cash which would be better used making some decent fucking games for the system, us Rodents decided to assist Sony’s marketing division by knocking up a few PSP adverts of our own.
Sony, here’s some free advice from me. I might not know anything about advertising, or making consoles, but I know this: If you want people to buy your gaming console, put some decent games out for it. Lumines, Everybody’s Golf and Wipeout are nearly a year old now.
If you want people to use the PSP as a portable media player, don’t make it that only geeks know how to rip and convert video formats just so you can make a killing from flogging us cut-down versions of films we already own on DVD...
More to the point, work out what you want your machine to be, and actually let people experience this rather than insulting and consusing them with pretentious adverts.