1. One Punch Mickey

M., 38, seeks feisty woman for Combine harvesting. Must like dogs, the colour orange and letters of the Greek alphabet. Get in touch if you can grasp the gravity of my predicament!

2. Fozz

Underground informant on fast-track to freedom. Willing accomplice sought. Say 'Auf Wiedersehen' to mundane pursuits! Could be a platform for mutual leap of faith. You dig? Press play on tape.

Whether it's someone fit...

3. Russ

Prickly boy. Fed up of being given the run around. Divorced too many times to mention, it's like I'm collecting rings. Would like to take things to another level.

4. Quickbeam

or someone a bit different...

Highly intelligent and sexy mother of many, into the wild side of life, desires partner for intimacy and a new life. Must be tolerant of speech impediment.

5. Mr Nath

Young solvent M, imposing father figure, had enough of rolling around and collecting baggage, looking for perfect F to shoot for the stars.

6. Fil

Adventurous male seeks colossal partner to climb up and stab in a "special place".

or maybe someone similar...

7. Rockwaldo

Red Indian male, with little interest in his heritage, seeks woman that ISN'T locked into a killing machine on a conveyor belt.

8. Dacman

Hundreds of delicate flowers (sub.) seek individual (dom.) for countryside pursuits, potholing and rubbish collection. Must have no colour preference and own whistle.

hmm, two ladies!

9. No Name

F/M? A bit scatty! I often lose things, but always find them again. Likes: balls, dressing up, jumping, and ancient civilizations. Dislikes: jellyfish, jelly, brains pickled in aspic, and anything else that reminds me of them.

10. Miss Bo

Tired of walking the same old line? Music lover seeks companion to help me reach a higher state.

There's always somebody for you