Maibock
[on gaming as punishment] "I once made one of my kids program a game on the TI 99/4a from a book. It was beautiful punishment. He was excited at first to program a game to play, but the look on his face when he came up from the basement after 2 hours of typing was priceless. 'I typed all that for this stupid, crappy bouncing ball game?!' Ha! welcome to 1980, pal!"

tb Lilley
[on making the XBLA top 3 slot for Scramble Co op]"...we might have done even better - had my missus not mosied in front of the telly at a fairly crucial moment - and then started writing rude messages on a piece of paper then shoving them under my nose. She just doesn't understand my art."

Koworld
"I'm genuinely struggling to read FEDGE these days. There was a review of something cute and fun in this months' issue (the PC cover) and it got a 7 so that's fine but I just could not make my way through the copy. It was torture, utter torture. The writer simply could not bring himself to admit that he was having a laugh PLAYING a GAME. He just couldn't say it - so instead seemed to have a mental breakdown of the sort that bloke in a Beautiful Mind was having. Stuff like Total Film, Arena and even the fucking Guardian prove that you can be intelligent, serious, and entertaining, even funny if you want to be, without having to write like you're in the Lower Sixth and have just been sucked off by Karl Marx while simultaneously having your prostate stimulated by the greased finger of fucking Wittgenstein. Honest - it's the closest I have ever come to giving up on Edge. I know I'm an idiot for buying it but right now it's EXACTLY like sleeping with a girl you once loved but now can't stand to be in the same room with, unless that being in the same room consists entirely of shagging and then holding afterwards but with your eyes closed and pretending it was two years before. You do it because you can't let go and because, more honestly, you're frightened that nothing better is going to come along and that if you stop reading Edge you'll die alone and full of regret for the issues you missed when wanking into a copy of Official Playstation Magazine."

Can we please have our Sky One back? We miss the Simpsons you beardy muppet.