Mamemeister [On Sensible Soccer 2006]
"I'm err, quite enjoying it, only played 2 matches though. Is it early days? Not putting Scotland, Wales or either Irish team in is pretty fuckin unforgivable mind. Its also the only footy game to give me 'motion' sickness. Fuck, maybe it is pap.."

Fozz
"Found my two lads huddled over Rollercoaster Tycoon a while back, giggling at the 'death coaster' they had created, which ended abruptly, 200 feet in the air, spilling each screaming carload into their specially crafted alligator pool using the Wild! Add on. Quite the crimson Jacuzzi going on, which they had cunningly billed as a separate attraction, charging voyeurs for the privilege of witnessing the carnage, and knowing full well they'd eventually join the morass of thrashing limbs anyway, by injudicious choice of footwear and sloppy code. No law of diminishing returns here either, with endless, hell-bent supply lines lengthening the park, and not a crapper in sight."

Mr Nath [On the World Wanking Record]
"...Eight and a half hours is the record? Now, call me naive, but for a record that doesn't seem that long? Maybe the gap between amateur and professional is smaller in the masturbation game than other sports"

"Get your Black Shirts here."