NOW MONTHLY (Next issue Jan 30th) #59
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Christmas in Heaven. Still can’t spend your gift tokens before noon, though.

What d’ya get, then? Eh? Eh? If you’re reading this on Christmas morning, we trust you’ve already had Matchmakers and Terry’s Chocolate Orange on toast for breakfast, washed down with a pint of sherry. You should also have attempted at least one transparent grimace of fake excitement over some painstakingly wrapped gift you know you’ll never, ever read/play/wear/deploy. And if you’ve got kids, remember – insisting that they wait until after 3:15am before opening presents is, essentially, child abuse.

Turkey-style, you can stuff your cynicism up your arse. We love Christmas. Yeah, it might seem a bit overbearing and tacky – particularly if you’re not much of a family type, but that’s like saying that Las Vegas is shit because you’ve got no money.

Still, we must never allow ourselves to lose sight of the true meaning of a great British Christmas:

  • Putting the sprouts on sometime around Bonfire Night.
  • Complaining about how Christmas has become so commercialised and how it all starts earlier every year.


  • Starting to complain about how Christmas has become so commercialised and seems to start earlier every year, earlier every year (the first outrage at supermarkets stocking Christmas decorations should now be expressed sometime in mid-August).
  • Laurel & Hardy on BBC2 at 6am in the fucking morning.
  • Attempting to burn off 5000 calories with a post-lunch amble around the block.
  • The timeless magic of dawn breaking on a grey, mild, vaguely drizzy morning.

Mostly, though – games, games, games. At last, a bit of time to play the bastard things without worrying that you should be working. Erm, when parents and vague relations aren’t huddled around the telly to indulge in the jolly old scenes of domestic devastation in East-frickin’-Enders…


So, yeah. Rodent is changing. You might have noticed. It was grow or wither, and after several Done-When-It’s-Done frustrations, we’ve made the decision to go monthly. Trust us. It’s for the best. Bigger, better, sharper issues. Less rush, more haste. Y’know. It’ll be good.

For now, though, have an ace Christmas and stick with us through the changes. Something is going to happen in 2005 that’ll make you glad you did. Honest.

Yes. The vase looks like a tit with two nipples.


SUP ON IT. The original videogaming Christmas spirit…

Top 25 Games Of The Year. There was voting. This happened. SICKBOY

Dragon Tails 11 Jimmy Stewart vs Mario. It’s-a Wonderful Life. ELY

A Christmas ghost short-story. With dinosaurs instead of ghosts. RUSS

Galaxian World Champ Gary Whelan He’s English, see. SICKBOY

Call yourself a gamer? Not until you’ve done all this, you’re not. FUSEBALL

Alien Hominid 2D yellow dog punx not dead. PAULEMOZ

Star Wars Battlefront - yeeeeeehaaaaa! KOWORLD

Mr. Do! Umm… Christmas. Eating food. Shoots a snowball. SICKBOY

Parents Thank-you for the gaming goodness. SWITH

Image Of The Week Christmas cut-ups. SWITH

Snowy Arcade Genuinely win stuff: Christmas quiz. PAULEMOZ

All done, then. Get on the forum and send comments, write stuff, eat, drink, get that Perry Como album on and for baby Jebus’s sake, be merry. Another year clocked.

About the changes: obviously there is the monthly thing, you'll notice some small detail changes too - stars on reviews for example but the big stuff is yet to come. Next up, in celebration of out 60th issue Rodent is to undergo a complete re-design - issue out January 31st 2005. See you there.

Sickboy - Editor, December 2004

Next Month…

(Don't worry - we haven't sold out...)


selected previous issues :

Click for issue #35

Return to Issue #33


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