Rick Moranis is 50!
Yes! Mediocre actor Rick Moranis is FIFTY YEARS OLD.
Ironically, Way Of The Rodent is also FIFTY ISSUES OLD. Yeahyeah. Whatever…
Some Rick Moranis facts:
1. Rick is quite short. Only 5ft 4in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. You might think he’s American, but he’s actually Canadian!!!!!
3. He’s left-handed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. It has been said that he went to school with Geddy Lee from Rush, but that is definitely untrue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. He runs his own production company!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. He used to be a radio DJ in the ‘70s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7. Rick’s films include Honey I Shrunk The Kids, Honey I Blew Up The Kid, Honey We Shrunk Ourselves and, probably, some other loathsome, landfill-bound, soul-murdering heap of numbing, superfluous mental chewing-gum with ‘Honey’ in the cunting title.
Here’s Rick in Ghostbusters, doing a sort of knowing, pained face…
Here he is in Little Shop Of Horrors, doing a knowing, sort of pained face…
Here he is in Spaceballs, sort of doing a pained, knowing face…
Oh, fuck. Hang on. We’ve just checked and he’s 51.
Shootspeedkilllight…
”Peeeow! Brbrbrbrbrbrbrbr! Tscheeeow! Cheooow! Pfffffffffffffffffggghh!”
Look, we’re 50.
So here’s an extra-special special for ya. Less is more? Shit on that. We say – MORE! MORE Llamasoft History, MORE Original Spirit, MORE Kun-Tor, MORE Burnout 3
But, best of all, MORE shooty goodness. Finally, there’s no need to agonise over what might be the Greatest 50 Shooters Of All-Time, because we’ve assembled a team of crack, elite writers to decide for you. You may stroke your chin and think: “Hahahaha! Number 37-est best shooter ever!? It’s shit!”, etc. But you’d be wrong. Just take your medicine – and, er, then discuss and debate in a sensible fashion over on the forum.
Gnaw mercy.
Fuck knows how we managed to keep this thing going for a year, but we’re not planning to stop yet. Massive great bum-squeezes and slow-motion jaw-punches to anyone who helped make it happen – including writers, readers, picture finders, tecchy-webby folks, guest editors, helpers, runners, bummers, fluffers, abusers, fuckbag shit-for-soul hackers, first-time users. Er. Just, like, thanks. OK?
And we’re having a couple of weeks off after this blow-out, so take yer time. Plenty to go round.
50th Issue Special Anniversary Bumper Extra-Strength Original Videogaming Spirit over here…
 50 Greatest Shooters. You knows you love lists. RODENTIA
 Llamasoft History Part 5. Alcohol and epiphany. YAK
The Original Spirit. It’s out there somewhere… SWITH
 Burnout 3. Despite the irks, 'Game Of The Year' so far. PAULEMOZ
 Kun-Tor 4. Your letters slit up a treat. KUN-TOR
And that, my friends, is so much that! When you've finished here, have a look at www.rongtones.tv when you get a min, it's both funny and genius. Also practical. Tickle them with your £1.50 and subvert the system FROM THE INSIDE.
SICKBOY, September 20th 2004
The Week After Next…
selected previous issues :
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