| Good
news! We are moving hosts. A mirror of WotR is already up and
working well. We're just waiting for the DNS change to filter
through. You shouldn't really notice except that, once it's happened,
page-access delay will drop significantly, and outages will also
reduce dramatically. We're very pleased with the new set-up, provided
by a very kind, and very secret anonymous supporter. You sir,
are a fucking superstar. I wish that we could legally tell you
the name of the original (and fucking awful) hosts so that you
could avoid ever doing business with their sorry selves. So don't
even think of doing a 'whois' for wayoftherodent.com and then
reading the name listed under the DNS information. Don't do that.
Oh and if it says UK2NET, that means we've completed the transfer
and the hosts are actually the nice ones. Cheers then, and thank
you so much for your patience during this awful last week! Rodent
Team.
you’re
going down pal…
Hard as it may be to imagine now that we’re
all growed up, but we Rodents haven’t
always been the respectable pillars of the community that we are
today. Buried in most of our pasts (and yours too – be honest
with yourself) lies the usual youthful catalogue of minor fraud,
the petty crime and the general obnoxiousness that we're so worried
about our children repeating. In his debut piece, F0zz brings
this all crashing home with his tale of a videogaming habit fueled
by cheap barbituates, sleazy sex and random acts of senesless
violence, while TMUK addresses us from his secure cell where he
is currenty serving fourteen months for receipt of stolen goods.
Well, not quite, but nearly…
More random-acts of cheap sex, sleazy violence
and senseless drugs: this week also sees PaulEMoz put on his best
black tie before stepping into the shoes of everyone’s favourite
bastard. Can Everything or Nothing
finally deliver a sniper shot to the back of Goldeneye’s
head? Find out here first…
See, see, we're doing exclusives now. I mean,
yes you may well have already bought this one, played it, taken
it back for a no-quibble refund and taken home your next victim
instead. But this is the first time you will have read about somebody
else's experience of the game (unless it, umm, isn't). Except,
that's the thing, isn't it? Reviews are opinion, nothing else.
That's why we tell you whose opinions we're publishing, you might
have read PaulEMoz's other reviews here and found yourself beginning
to agree with him: if you have then this game is for you. If not,
well, it actually doesn't matter. We'll tell you what makes us
giggle but we will never tell you what to think.
you’ll never take me
alive
So, think on of the ghosts in your gaming closets
and let the ghoulish Spirit of Original
Videogaming come home to claim your guilty soul...
TMUK
sits on the fence.
Ely plays Cribbage? Are you
sure?
Go on F0zz, get it off your
chest
The name is Moz, PaulEMoz. Shaken
and stirred…
007 would love a spin on this one, San
Francisco Rush 2049, by TMUK
And a side-order of fat Mario
fingers please!
Finally, after a day of DoS attack claims from
our Steptoe & Son web hosts, that's it - we're done here.
Hosting will be transferred to somebody who 'gives a fuck' in
the next two weeks - here's looking forward to a reliable service!
Thanks to Insert
Credit for being reliably good sports, and to Slashdot for
making our world go all happily fall'y-over. We love you all,
and wish you 10,000 kisses: that's one for every reader.
Next Week: HE
RETURNETH. Actually. Honestly.
The original rodent,
February 27th 2004
top ten…
Deaths for Mario, by
RODENTIA
10. Badly-installed boiler explosion (Cowboy
Mario)
9. With an amyl nitrate-soaked tangerine segment in his mouth
and choked by Princess Peach during weird copper-pipe related
sexual shennanigans (Pipe Dreams)
8. Intestines accidently vacummed-out by idiotic brother (Luigi's
Mansion)
7. Sitting too close to the fire (Paper Mario)
6. Self prescribed drugs overdose (Dr Mario)
5. Poisoned Mushroom (Mario Party 5)
4. Lightning Strike (Mario Golf)
3. Mario's body found in pieces alongside the riverbank (Mario
Is Missing)
2. Killed by the Mafia (Super Mario Teamsters 4)
1. Super Mario Karting Accident
Think
you can do better? Huh, huh? Go on then, we dare you...
last week's issue:
The girls and the games – but rarely at the same time. FUSEBALL
"I don't care about your mortgage." Why can't I just
be me, asks SIMONB
The History Of Llamasoft –
Part One. YAK
“The horror… the horror…”. Good game,
though. Silent Hill 2 by JUNOSIX
The old Atari days, middle-class kid style. Activision
Anthology. PAULEMOZ
Xbox Boy, can he do it? KOWORLD
___________________________________________________________________
LEGAL NOTICE
Way of the Rodent and Smart Circle
Limited accept no responsibility for the content of the related
forum or for the content of articles, written by third-parties,
re-published on this site. Writers' opinions are their own and
do not reflect those of the owners of WotR or of Smart Circle
Limited. WotR and Smart Circle Limited disclaim all liability
for such content to the fullest extent permitted by law.
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