Due to the entirely unexpected 'cold snap' issue #21 has been delayed until after lunch. There are, umm, leaves on the interweb. Also a snowed-in horse.

games are dead…

So Nintendo have announced what they say will be the new 'third pillar' of gaming - a complete shake-up of the very platforms upon which we play, no less. Promises, promises, but what has surprised this rodent more than any technical murmurings is that Nintendo - breaking with it's silent tradition - has opted to issue a press release so early. A risky move? Maybe so, perhaps it was a move they were forced into playing because of their current underperformance? Whatever business-wank might be the root cause of this, one thing is certain: it is risky, especially when the world’s unsurprising response was ‘Eh?’

Times, they are a changin’, Sony 'wowing' the world with it's handheld plans, while Nintendo underwhelm with it's. Elsewhere Electronic Arts threatens to completely dominate software sales. Is that a bad thing? At a time when Nintendo have been busy attempting to utterly change the gaming tools, EA has been concentrating on making publishing deals with hot British studios. So, is the future of gaming in the tools, or is it in the talent?

And that's the question we're asking, is it hardware versus the software, Nintendo vs. Electronic Arts.

Oh yes.

Can it really be true? Has this been just one long leap into a column about how the Konix Speedking was so shit it made Mega Apocalypse impossible? Tools vs. talent?

Yes. Yes it has.

long live games…

Welcome to this week's gob of the original videogaming spit. Hack it up now, hack up that golden gaming phlegm.

Blame your tools, we all know it’s their fault. JEDBURGH

'It wasn't me - the beer made me do it', expensive hobbies with AHCHAY

Go on, talk to yourself, it’s fun! Beyond Good & Evil, by PAULEMOZ

Cocks, tails and the joy of Tempest. AHCHAY

Cocks, Toes and Japanese shooty porn. Treasure, from FUSEBALL

Still time to take the Gaming Sounds Quiz. Also, more prizes. SICKBOY

Bad workmen, big tools, spank that plank!

So there we have it, all kissed better by Mommy Rodent. There, there, my love.

Next Week: Gaming perverts, and scary Killer Klowns.

The original rodent, January 23rd 2003

top ten…

Top Ten high-street gaming tie-ins, by SIMONB

10. Superdrug Mario Poundland
9. Legend of Zelda: The Link Mobile Phone Store
8. Burger King of Fighters
7. Quickshot - Tyres, Exhausts & Crash Bandicoot Repairs
6. The Postal Office
5. TK Maxx Payne
4. Marks & Space Invaders
3. The Bounty Fish & Chipped PS2 Takeaway
2. Halfords Of The Things
1. Leather Godesses of Argos

last week's issue:

Snooker will never be the same again. Bad feelings with KOWORLD

Sssh! You’ll start a 1080 Avalanche. JIMAROID

Winter Games - why most babies are born in the autumn? PAULEMOZ

Three times a lay-dee? SSX3. KOWORLD

Ooh! Ooh! I know that one. That’s that thingy from that game. You know, the one with the ship and the aliens! Ooh, what’s it called again? Take the Gaming Sounds Quiz and find out. SICKBOY

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