Happy new ear!

Yeah, well.

The dog ate it.
We got so drunk over Christmas that we’ve only just, like, RECOVERED.
Somebody lost the Internet.
Couldn’t post, eating.
We pawned our eyes. We couldn’t see.
We spilt tea over our souls.
Sickboy had to have his house re-decorated to resemble that of an old war veteran…

One of these things is true.

You talkin’ to you?

Look, we’re back. Let’s put the late thing behind us. We’ll do lines or something. Yeah, we'll do them like this…

We must not be late, ever again – probably.
We must not be late, ever again – probably.
We must not be late, ever again – probably.
We must not be late, ever again – probably.
We must not be late, ever again – probably.
We must not be late, ever again – probably.
We must not be late, ever again – probably.
We must not be late, ever again – probably.
We must not be late, ever again – probably.

Gah. They didn’t have copy-and-paste when WE were at school.

Listen. It’s gonna be a great year. Stick with us. Keep brushing that mouse-pointer over us. Mmnmnnmmm. Watch us tumesce.

We have plans. Exciting plans. So exciting, you’re not allowed to know about them, unless you read the next paragraph.

There’s gonna be a WotR book, and a WotR film, and a WotR TV show.

One of these things is probably true. One is definitely true. One is hopefully true.

Keep hope alive.

It’s gonna be a great year.

Now read.

13th January, 2004

On, then. On with a newly distilled, uncut vial of original videogaming spirit…

Don’t be sad. Get mad. MAMEMEISTER

The guy from Manhunt? He just needs nurture. LOUISE

It’s free, it’s crap, but it’s great. Pipe Dream from SIMONB

10,000,000 songs, you say? Whatever. Apple iPod by MICHELLE

Console develper saves – but AHCHAY scores on the rebound.

Is sorry any good?

Next Week: It's a winter sports bonanza.

The original rodent, January 13th 2003

top ten…

Top Ten Games That Wouldn't Get Past The Censors, by tmuk
10. Star Wars: Bountiful Cunter
9. Ethinic Minority Report
8. Viewtiful Joe's Big Shiny Balls
7. Sega Nuremberg Rally 2
6. Super Hard On
5. Zelda: The Furious Masterbator
4. Mario does Luigi and the Princess and The Mushoom
and Bowser up the Arse with his Plumber's Fist
3. Animal Crossing: Foul, Genetic Abominations
2. Super Monkey Balls
1. Deadeye: Gabrielle Edition

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