| we
are rodent…
A great philosopher once wrote: “Life
is lived forward but understood backward”.* But that’s
not important, right now.
What is important is that we’re fast approaching
the year 2004 – which really does sound like we should be
zapping from place to place via matter-displacement kiosks and
drinking blue drinks and eating roast dinner-flavoured ‘Nutri-Pills’,
but we aren’t and that’s a shame.
If you’ve read and enjoyed your Rodent
this year, then you’ve made us very happy. We don’t,
like, get paid any proper money for this, you know. In fact, we
choose not to. Because if we accepted any of these constant offers
to buy the site and took on salaries to keep it going, then…
well… it just wouldn’t be the same, would it? We’d
sell out, it wouldn’t be as funny as it used to be, and,
most importantly, indiscriminate use of the word ‘cunt’
would be right out.
So, here we remain – driven by a strange,
relentless passion to entertain – but, essentially, destitute.
We love you all – especially the really
clever person who hacked our forum, this week. As you can probably
imagine, we were absolutely overcome with awe at your ability
to download a phpBB hacking program and then use it to hack a
phpBB forum. Quite sensational. We actually ordered in some really
gorgeous girls to have a look at your work and they were all united
in their desire to make sex with you. If you’d care to get
in touch via e-mail, then we’ll see if we can sort something
out. Please include your address and a full list of allergies
and phobias.
Everyone else – keep reading, keep clicking
through and, um, keep on keeping on with whatever you’ve
been keeping on with, recently. It’ll work out in the end.
hear us squeak…
Right now, we got just three words for ya…
‘Original’, ‘videogaming’
and ‘pudenda’…
No, wait… ‘Spirit’.
All hail Halo. Jumpers For Goalposts from
FUSEBALL
What are friends for? Bouncing, of course. THEMEADOWS
Lies make Baby Jesus cry. It’s like he’s never
‘been away’... TRUEMETALUK
Big pants and time warps. Prince Of Persia:
Sands Of Time. KORRUPTOR
Twisty-turny-shooty-blasty – on a budget, too. Zero
Gunner 2. KOWORLD
Updates! Really this time! Honest! More exclamations needed!
READERS
Ava Stewart - The Littlest Rodent.
Born December 3rd, 2003.
Congrats to Mamemeister who is, indeed, The Daddy.
Thank you, thank you. Please return to
your homes and places of business. And you really should make
a start on that Christmas shopping in the next couple of days.
Remember – the longer you put it off, the more stressful
it is.
Next week –
The Best Of Rodent 2003.
THE ORIGINAL RODENT
december 5th 2003
Now taking submissions
in any and all categories!
* Dutch existentialist Soren Kierkegaard,
yes indeedy.
LEGAL NOTICE
Way of the Rodent and Smart Circle
Limited accept no responsibility for the content of the related
forum or for the content of articles, written by third-parties,
re-published on this site. Writers' opinions are their own and
do not reflect those of the owners of WotR or of Smart Circle
Limited. WotR and Smart Circle Limited disclaim all liability
for such content to the fullest extent permitted by law.
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