| ninety
per cent two cents…
There’s this Rodent, see, who used to
be high and mighty within the games mag biz. He would be lunched
and punched by software publisher PRs and he would clench his
sphincter good and tight whenever they used this phrase:
“It’s a Triple-A product”.
This, we imagine, is PR-speak for: “Whether
this game is good or not is not a matter of opinion, it is a matter
of fact and we have decided thus and all who disagree will no
longer receive the gift of our advertising revenue”.
We’re not really sure about that. Round
these parts, we have an instinctive affection for games that are
a teeny bit undersold and unloved. Games that languish in the
in-tray for a while and then, when grudgingly fired up, surprise
everyone by being just as special as their shoutier, more conventionally
glamorous Triple-bleedin’-A brothers and sisters.
Games like The Italian
Job on PS2. We’ve been playing it a lot this week,
not because we want to be all subversive and ironic, but because
it’s a really, really good game and we love it a lot.
It’s the game that Driver
– or, more accurately, Sunday Driver – should have
been. Frantic, gut-level, competitive, seat-of-the-panties, Mini-revving
japes – and only the merest shaving of a back-bumper behind
Burnout 2 in terms of bad-driving
jollies. It’s so damned thrilling and compulsive and just-one-more-go
that we keep expecting the Fun Police to burst in and redress
the karmic balance by forcing us to sit through a four-page IGN
review.
Sorry to go on, y’know. It’s just…
Well. The marketing departments may deal in ‘products’.
We prefer games. Or, to put it another way, we may not know much
about products, but we know which games we like.
kick me hard…
"Pull up a bar-stool and, before we run
out of uses for this analogy, join us in several triple-strength
glugs of original videogaming spirit…"
Family gaming frolics with loaded uncles. It’s FUSEBALL
Poor, but happy. All hail the new guy – PAULEMOZ
Chop stuff up the magical way. Eternal
Darkness by ATLAS’ APPRENTICE
Naughty crows. Weird is good. Billy Hatcher
& the Giant Egg by AHCHAY
JOIN US!! And caress the long-flaccid arcade scene… SICKBOY
”Can I have some change
for the machine, please?”
Another issue is done
and it is time for us to let you get on with your strange little
life. Until next time – play games, kiss girls, eat solids,
drink liquid… And stop sniffing!
Next week
– Call Of Duty, NUONs and all that – plus… the
return of Mamemeister.
THE ORIGINAL RODENT
november 14th 2003
Now taking submissions
in any and all categories!
LAST IMPORTANT
NOTICE - #4
Bored now so this is the last one.
I promise. Lucas is alright. Yes, he clearly likes a dollar bill
but then which of us doesn't? A New Hope (without Greedo spunking
his early bullet) will long sit in my top ten movies and it will
always have a special place in my heart. But for the love of god
please stop now George. It's only yourself you are embarrassing.
Oh and your studio. Them too |
